So many thoughts are running through my head. Thomas and I have talked, and talked, and talked about whether we should stop with two children. Both of us have had the same worries: Could we still give our children the best of everything if we had another child? Could we give each child the attention they deserve if we had another?
Ultimately, we decided that we think we can. We decided that we do want another.
I had a knee jerk reaction after the miscarriage. That reaction was that I did not want to go through that again. I did not want to worry about gestational diabetes. I did not want to worry about if I could have a vaginal delivery.
We do not plan to start trying immediately. I want to lose a little more weight (like 20 pounds would be good.) and it would be good to not be due between November - February. So, we're thinking June of this year.
I'm nervous, extremely nervous about the thought of trying to conceive again. It is unbelievably terrifying. The thought of becoming pregnant again, maybe losing another baby, is so scary to me.
Wednesday we go minivan shopping. A place in town is having a sale, so we're going to go see what's up. We're going with the mind that we do not have to buy right now, so we can walk out without worrying that we have to have a minivan right now.
Friday we're going to Albuquerque, New Mexico to visit Thomas' family there. I need to start looking for a place to stay, just waiting for Thomas to call his aunt and get her new address, we'd like to stay somewhat close to their place.
Lots of things to think about, sigh.
written by indy1212
January 31, 2005 at 7:43 p.m.